Family State: Youth in revolt-1

নীলকান্ত's picture
Submitted by nilkanto on Wed, 21/08/2013 - 3:55am

It was a front page news, news that we all now talk about.

The news: Parents killed, accused Daughter.

It became viral. the News, the gossip, the shock, the blame game: Society vs parenting vs liberty, English medium vs Bengali, friends vs parents, love vs blindness.
I hear my upstairs neighbor who has a boy who studies in Dhaka College say, "Is my day coming? You do act like her." I heard nothing. The son, usually is loud.

My mom questioned the way she was brought up, then again she tried to defend the parents as to her: No parents can ever want their children to be in a bad state. I did agree, but also pointed her out that, no matter what happens you need to have some authority over your kid.

My sister on the other hand went for the English medium-Bengali medium discussion. I tried to tell her that most educated criminals now come from Bengali medium background. Then her logic became: these children are the ones from the corrupt family. I said: Too much generalized.

I would have kept my thought in my skull. But a call changed that. Call from a person, who is more or less the same age of the girl.
She is just 16-Oishee. We can picture her now. Media showed her face of course, with negative discretion. I don't blame them. It's a field where most come with no experience, and become 'e-something' or 'something-e' of the so-called media world. I do like to thanks to some, who did not show the girl's face in their news or in print reviews (It can be taken as a start). Not to mention, the police who also did not bother to mask her!

So why being mad at parents? Why being violent or unruly? Why parents try to be strict rather being persuasive?

At this point, I feel I would like to clear my intention of this writing. I am here not to blame or to support any side. I am trying to find root of the problem that our teenagers being children and parents while parenting face.

I had the opportunity to work with students from standard or class 5 to 12th grade, as a teacher, coach or a tutor. Also was lucky to teach a group of University students not very long ago.
What I find the shocking thing being-parents and kids never talk except: 'Did you eat?', 'How was school?', 'How much mark did you get?', 'Why you are talking with that boy or girl?', 'I spend this amount of money on you, if you are like this no more.', 'I need to buy this, mom/dad.', 'Teacher asked me to get a sign from you on this.', 'Mom let's go out/We will be going out tonight.' This type of stuff.

I told this to few, majority asked me: 'what else do you want us to say?', 'Do you know how much time I spend one them?' 'What else do we need to say sir, we can't share anything else with them.' and many other easy-thoughtful answers.

But nobody asks- Do I really know my kids/parents? Do I? What do I know about him/her? Except for he/she eats, sleeps, studies/works, earns/wastes.

(to be continued)


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